Just Be Yourself
Here's a short video just for you:
Easier said than done, right? How do I just be myself and not get caught up being who I really am not?
Let's see if we can get to the bottom of it…..
Recently, I was talking to a client about a situation that we all face, and that is who am I when I’m in relationship with someone else. As we were talking, it was apparent that she came face to face with herself during an event, which she hosted.
My client was alarmed by a woman who was at the party, and that this woman didn’t maintain eye contact with her, and wasn’t really talking to her. Thus, my client became judgmental of the woman, and thought she was rude. And my client was spun up for a few days after the event.
How many times has this happened to you?
For me, it has happened numerous times. I become aware of someone not doing something or not saying something that I think he or she “should” be doing or saying, and then I become angry with him or her. Having said this, I create all sorts of judgmental thoughts spinning around in my head. WOW! It’s similar to the spin cycle on our washing machines when it‘s unbalanced….spinning around, and around, and around, and knockin‘ and rockin‘ all over the place. Man, is this exhausting!
What happens in this scenario is we become someone that we’re not, and our ego personna, who we are not, gets fed by our judgmental thoughts, and the ego loves it. It’s like it craves our negative thoughts for its existence, and will stop at nothing to get us all “spun” up.
Can you just imagine the ego laughing at our expense, and saying, “WOW! This is so much fun to see her or him create a cyclone effect. It’s such a blast. Let’s keep this going as long as we can.!”
Yikes!
For my client, it was the perception that if the woman would just change her behavior according to the rules set forth by my client, then my client would be okay and could then relax. Yet, the woman didn’t know what the rules were, and didn’t even know there were established rules. There was no sign: “Please maintain eye contact at all times with the host, and please talk to her at least 20 times. These rules are strictly enforced. If you do not comply, your behavior could negatively impact the host, and could even require hospitalization or really strong shots of whiskey. And you will not be asked back.”
What a picture, right?
Our self esteem is always at risk as we allow the ego to constantly mess with who we really are. When we don’t know who we are and who we want to be in each moment when we’re in relationship with others, we will be knocked around as a result. The “needy me” takes over because there is something that we need someone else to do or to be. We look outside ourselves when it’s actually going on inside of us.
When I know who I am and who I want to be no matter what, I’m not concerned with my perception of anyone else’s behavior. I allow myself to relax and feel the flow of enjoyable conversation. I don’t have to try and fix anyone else because there is no one to fix. Everyone is perfect just as they are, and my only responsibility is to myself to be who I am.
When I allow myself to be who I really want to be, then I allow others to be who they are. It’s a more enjoyable way to live!
Don’t let your ego spin you ‘round. Give some lovin’ to yourself and calm down the “needy me.” And you’ll actually save on visits to the emergency room….and whiskey too!
