You know, recently I was talking to my daughter, who is 25 years old. I told her that I didn't allow her to express her feelings when she was younger, and I'm just learning to do this as an adult. I always tried to make things okay, jump in their with a solution, and sugar coat the experience. Thus, she never got to fully express what she was feeling. And when the emotion, the energy, doesn't have an outlet, it stays stuffed inside, only to come out at a later time.

I'm now seeing the bigger picture of what happens when kids don't get to fully express themselves. That energy stays there through adulthood, just looking for an opening. We've heard that reference, "He's a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off." It's because there hasn't been a safe place to express these opposing viewpoints, those thoughts, throughout childhood, and thus, this energy builds and builds until it has to be discharged in whatever fashion it can.

When we safely give children a venue, a sacred space, to release these emotions, we give them permission to be who they are. We don't deny any part of them, and create a boundary of "these are the only emotions that you can display." In this total self acceptance, they learn that all emotions are permissible.

Using EFT, along with a stuffed animal, for children creates a comfortable setting in which to release the emotions, the energy, that wants to come out. Can you imagine having this be a part of the curriculum in schools, and having a space in the classroom to do so? And then carrying that into the home so that full expression is just part of our daily lives.

You could simply show them how to tap on the 8 points, or only a few points, and say something like this:

Even though I'm feeling scared, I'm a great kid anyway. Even though I don't think I can pass this test, I'm a great kid anyway.

These are just two simple reference points for whatever is inside.

We can all totally relate to being children, and not thinking that it was okay to express fear because we just didn't think anyone would listen to us "being afraid." Remember, just simply ignoring it won't cause it to go away. It's there, and will stay there until it is triggered.

Using EFT with children sets up a totally different environment in which to convey that all emotions are healthy when given a space in which to do so. Like Eckhart Tolle says, creating space is the greatest thing we can do for humanity.

Think of the word…EXpress, much like EXhale….needs to come out!

Isn't it interesting that when we have children, we want to wash out those stains they get on their clothes. When you think about this, and really be with it, you'll most likely find that the basis for this is judgment. Because when our children go out into the world and they have stains on their clothes, then we think people will judge us as bad parents.

Let's explore the land of stains….

Kids always get stains, and it's a right of passage to do so. Those stains represent a much bigger picture than the peephole we're looking through. Those stains represent growth, an experience, at each stage of childhood. The stains might say, "This is where my dad took me for ice cream. This is where I was learning to crawl on grass. This is where I fell down when I was learning to walk. This is where I had spaghetti dinner with my family." Thus, these stains have a hidden message that is a beautiful picture of being in this world.

Now, fast forward to adulthood….

We have the same sort of stains, only they represent learning to grow into who we really are, and learning to walk with God, with our Higher Self, with our Source Energy…whatever the term you use. Yet, we will look at those stains, again through the peephole of awareness, and judge the stains as "bad." The adult stains I'm describing are in forms that we consider to be our identity.

The stains of adulthood might say, "This credit card statement is when I was learning to walk with God. This divorce was when I was learning how to be who I really am. This health issue was when I was learning to trust. This job loss was when I was learning to listen. This credit score was when I was so attached to a thing."

You can see that stains in adulthood all reflect an awareness of learning to be in this world just like children, but it encompasses a much greater awareness of non-attachment, non-judgment and non-resistance. We get so caught up in an egoic mindset of "trying" to be all sorts of things related to our identity of our personality. And thus, we will bring in things into our experience that will show us that we need to let go of an identity that we thought was real.

The only real identity is our Self, that natural spirit that wants to flow loving energy in this world. Every time we have an egoic thought, we just bring that thought into our awareness and be with it.

Let's look at an example….

Look at your credit card statement, and if it reflects a number that doesn't feel good, then your ego is attached to it. Be with that energy and really feel the feelings that are attached to the statement. It's not the statement itself because it doesn't have an power in it. You are the only one that brings it power, and it's your feelings, your reaction to what is.

My recommendation is to be with those feelings, and really express them. The more you do this, the more that your ego, your identity within that statement, will begin to dissolve.

You can see that stains are to be celebrated because they indicate a deeper message. Thus, when you look at a stain and are giving it the peephole look, do a double take, and be aware of the mystery that surrounds that stain. And you might just laugh because you're aware that you just widened the peephole, and are now seeing it differently.

Whew! I have been going through quite the transformation, and a lot of emotion coming up. What I've realized is I've been attaching to, resisting and judging perceived "financial" stuff.

Yet, what I know is that the appearance of "financial" is not what it really is. It's only my mind telling me a story about it, and my reaction to what is, and then continuing the story time in the middle of the night . I mean who wants to awaken in the middle of the night to a scary story? Yikes!

What I haven't been doing is living in the now and being one, being present, with what is, and that's why the "what is or the content" is being perceived as so powerful. My ego has tried to protect me from "feeling" whatever emotion that is there because then I get to create my identity through my ego. My ego needs me to survive and it will stop at nothing to make its existence known.

The ego is not intended to go away, just to stop being the big me, and become the little me. I love Eckhart Tolle's work, and am grateful that my brother, Bob, is on the same path. With this said, Bob left me a message on my cell phone two days ago, and read an excerpt from Eckhart's book, the Power of Now. And it was exactly what I needed to hear…feel the feelings, but don't judge them or label them. Simply feel and allow the emotion to dissolve naturally.

Thus, I've been letting "it" express itself. Being aware of this has helped me tremendously, and I trust it will help you as well.

Here's something that you can use, which has been helping me as well.

Have you ever awakened in the middle of the night with worry? Your whole body feels it, and this emotion acts as if you are dying. You may sweat and have heart palpitations, and it appears very real. It's the ultimate Yikeorama .

You know, I used to wet the bed when I was in grade school. What I've learned is that my body was experiencing a lot of emotion, and it just happened to release it in this way. It wasn't always funny for my sister, who just happened to share a bed with me. Yet I can think of no better way to pay her back for all the mean thngs she did .

When you think about wetting your bed in this way, worry does tend to expel itself all over the place in your bed. If you had a special camera that would be able to capture all the fireworks going on, I'm sure it would display a real "soaking and drenching" of emotion.

I do have a technique you can use, and one you already aware of…..

When you awaken and the emotion of worry is there, allow it to be and just breathe with it. Worry wants to express itself, and by allowing it to do so, and becoming one with it, it will expel itself through a natural process. And pretty soon, the worry has been transformed into peace.

Breathing into whatever emotion is there is the most loving thing you can do. Our ego will want us to hide from our feelings because it wants to protect us. Why do you think there are multiple personalities? Simply put, they are subpersonalities utilized for protection.

Do you know how many times I have abided by my ego and not felt whatever I was feeling? Well, where do these feelings go that aren't expressed? As stored emotions just waiting for an opportunity to arise.

I now am fully expressing whatever I feel, and when I wake up and am feeling worried, I just breathe and become one with it. Really, it's so awesome as when you become one with something, it loses all its "perceived" credibility

Just Press Play

Embracing right here, right now can be one of life’s challenges. Yet, it can also be the most freeing experience when we break free from our past focused on regrets or our future focused on worries and, hence, always looking towards an outcome.

As Eckhart Tolle eloquently says that all we have is this moment. In addition Tolle says that if we treat the now as a means to an end, an obstacle or an enemy, we strengthen our negative reactions because we’re attached to something besides this moment. Having said this, our thought conditioning can be such that we live in an existence of past/future, rocking back and forth in that realm.

Let me use an analogy of the past/future existence with a DVD player. We have just put in a movie to watch and we grab the remote to take control of how we watch it. We press play for only a moment, and then we remember an experience from the past. This triggers some negative emotions and our finger automatically presses “rewind.“ And in our hypnotic state, our finger is stuck as we watch the movie go backwards and replays the scene by scene event that triggered the emotions.

As our hypnotic state continues, we suddenly press “fast forward,“ and thrust ourselves forward to the future because we’ve just thought of something to worry about. In this manner, our movie shifts frame by frame as our finger is stuck on this button.

Ouch! Can you imagine watching a movie and constantly pressing either the rewind or the fast forward button? It would make for a very frustrating experience, wouldn’t it?

I’ve done this, and it isn’t fun because I never get to experience playing for the sake of playing. I’m worried about the future or judging the past. Not fun to exist like this….yikes!

This is the scenario we set up every time we don’t press “play,“ and live in the moment of right now. Once we embrace right now, we do an activity for the sheer pleasure of it. We are inspired, we are motivated and we lose ourselves in the doing because we feel good, we feel happy, we feel joy. It’s not what we do, but the essence of why and how we’re doing something. We don’t look towards the future, at an outcome, and say, “I’m doing X because then I’ll get Y, and when I get Y, I’ll be happy.”

Our happiness exists right now as we embrace fun, laughter, imagination and play. Just like children play for the sheer pleasure of playing, as adults we can remember this innate gift and Just Press Play.

Now, go do something and play. Dance like you mean it, laugh like you mean it, make a funny face like you mean it. Have fun playing because it feels good!