You know, it's been very interesting to revisit my near death experience many, many times. It's been 26 years since it occurred, and yet it has always hovered over me as a place to remember….just like visiting home .

Now, what is happening is I'm remembering the experience so that I can see the truth in every situation. With this said, no one has the truth outside of us, and I'll explain what I mean.

In 1984, I was six months pregnant, and awakened with intense pain in my leg. After making a phone call to my doctor, it was determined that I had a blood clot, and my doctor said I should be seen by him. My doctor's practice was located in a city where I worked, and would require a 2 hour commute. Upon giving this information to my doctor, he didn't feel it was problematic. As I was getting ready, I began to feel faint. Thus, we decided to make a mad dash to our local ER. The intensity of the pain in my leg was so great that my husband got me a wheelchair when we arrived at the hospital because I couldn't walk. While in the ER, I began to feel faint again, and was quickly wheeled into the main ER room.

This is where the near death experience occurred. I immediately entered another dimension of higher consciousness and experienced such profound peace. Even though the ER staff was rushing around frantically, and one nurse said, "We're losing her and the baby's heart rate is dropping," her words had no meaning to me. In addition, another nurse grabbed my wrist, and told me that she needed to poke a needle in my wrist and that it would hurt. Yet, you can probably imagine I felt no pain whatsoever. I was at zero point, at no meaning land….nothing had any signficance. My thoughts stopped, and the only thing that resonated was my heightened state of being. It just existed without putting any label to it. Incidentally, unbeknownst to me, my husband was told that we, the baby and I, may not make it and to prepare himself.

Then I heard my own voice say, "I just want to go to sleep." Then another voice said, "It's not your time." This is when I was given an IV of heparin, which thins the blood, and I came back into the third dimension filled with the intense pain once again. To make a long story short, I did have pulmonary emboli (clots on my lung). I did recover and delivered a beautiful baby girl, Lindsay, one month later at a bouncing 3 lbs. 11 oz…she's a whopper .

What did this near death experience teach me?

Like I said, over the course of many years, this experience has hovered around me. Now, within the last six months, I've embraced it into my whole being. Why? Because nothing outside of me dictates anything, especially truth. The nurses comments were based on the machine I was hooked up to, and the reflection of the numbers that were being revealed. I am the co-creator with my life, along with my soul and all my beings of light. It is these co-creators which dictate the truth, and events and situations will unfold as a mechanism to reveal this truth.

I know that during that time I entered another dimension, I was given a choice to leave or to stay. Although it's not within my frame of reference to remember this, but I do know the choice was made for me to stay. With this said, the next steps were put in motion to make this a reality.

Now, I see this near death experience for the message it gives me, and know that many things happening outside of me will call into question my own truth…be it health, relationships, financial issues, etc. If I give into these things as being true, then my own truth gets distorted from coming into being, and the perception of chaos ensues.

That's why it's important to come from a higher state of consciousness that knows the truth. The ego, the physical mind, can't know the big picture. It may only see numbers and start the ol' chaos ball rolling. The numbers have no meaning in and of themselves, it's only what we've trained ourselves to look at when we see numbers…high, low, good, bad, too much, not enough. Thus, you can see how much emphasis is placed on things outside of us as truth.

We can remember one thing: Circumstances don't matter. Only state of being matters. It's that simple!

What\'s on Your Liepod?

Recently, I picked up a card, and on the front of the card was a woman working out at the gym while listening to her Liepod. She was really listening to her Ipod, but the creator of the card developed a new word as he had bubble thoughts flowing from her illustrating the thoughts she possessed about changing her beliefs of herself.

I thought this was very interesting as it fits right in line with Wayne Dyer’s, Excuses Begone, PBS series. In this series he mentions a book, Virus of the Mind, which is about the beliefs we suck into our brains that are someone else’s, and then we live our lives in accordance with these beliefs. Remember, a belief is only a thought that one thinks over and over again until it becomes part of us.

Are all beliefs true?

I have been exploring my beliefs, and it’s been blowing my mind…literally. All these beliefs within me that I’ve accepted as my truth are now being looked at from a conscious standpoint, and I’ve been engaged in a process to explore the beliefs and blow a lot of them out of my head . It’s actually a very freeing experience!

So let’s go on a little exploration for a moment…..

When I was age 29 and age 32, I developed blood clots in my leg that were pregnancy related. At age 29, I was six months pregnant, and developed blood clots, which resulted in pulmonary emboli and created a near death experience. Everything came out okay and my daughter was born at 3 lbs. 11 oz. Three years later, upon advice from doctors, I got pregnant again and at 3 months, I developed another blood clot. That pregnancy did not materialize.

You can probably imagine that I had a lot of “stuff” surrounding these experiences. I’m very grateful that I had the doctors during this time and had coumadin, a blood thinner, which definitely aided me.

Having said this, it was the doctors’ belief that I would incur major problems with my leg as a result of the blood clots, and I would have to stay on coumadin for the rest of my life. They painted this bleak picture and it scared the bejeesus out of me.

If you’ve never been on coumadin, it means you have to be extremely careful as internal bleeding can be a harmful side effect. Thus, every experience presented an “alert” action plan. Whenever, I went on an airplane, I would have to get up and walk around every hour. In the movie theaters, I would have to do the same. I couldn’t go downhill skiing for fear of falling. When I used a knife or shaved my legs, I worried about cutting myself. And then I had to wear the support hose all the time–wear these or die! On and on it went with scenarios that represented such anxiety within me. Lions, and tigers and bears, oh my!

Are you getting this picture of fear?

This sort of lifestyle unfolded with major panic attacks about this existence, and projecting the image into my future as well. I mean, I was only in my early 30’s so I had a long way to project when contemplating this lifestyle.

Fast forward to my late 30‘s, and I’m in my gynecologist office getting a routine exam. She introduces her belief that I shouldn’t have to be on coumadin, and she recommends that I discontinue taking it.

Thus, I did accept her belief and took it as truth, and I went off of coumadin, but had to work through the process. I had become so attached to the old belief system, and mentally removing myself from it took some time for me to relax with this new belief.

Now, it’s been 16 years later, and just a few months ago while flying, I suddenly had a thought, “OMG, I’m totally relaxed with my new belief surrounding the blood clots. I don’t believe that I’m going to die any longer as a result of them or have problems with my leg. I’m totally relaxed with my new belief. Thus, this is what it must feel like when truth is really the core truth as there is no fear.

I had worked through relaxing with this newfound awareness and had incorporated into my life, and my new belief had been anchored without my full appreciation of it. I had stopped taking on a belief that wasn’t true for me.

You can see how beliefs get so ingrained in us, and yet they’re not true.

Were the doctors wrong in their beliefs? No, from their experience with all that is within them, that’s what they believe to be true, and give advice based on those beliefs.

Yet, we are to be conscious in every moment and decide if that belief is true for us or not. We are not to blindly accept something as true until we honor ourselves in a process.

This is just one illustration of a belief that I took on, and there are many others that are being released as well. One can only imagine the freedom that is experienced when one relaxes with life. The truth will never feel anxious or fearful. The truth only represents bliss and happiness.

What’s on your Liepod? The beliefs you took on from someone else and then adopted those beliefs as your own truth.